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Tension At The GS Household As Latest Member Looks Suspiciously Like Japanese Neighbor


“This has been a humiliating past few days for me. Do you HEAR what the neighbors are saying about our child?! ‘What a cute little B-Strom-W.’ ‘I didn’t know Suzuki was having another.’ ‘Looks like someone got their V-Donged.’”


These were the tense words of Mr. GS that were overheard at the GS residence moments after getting home from the hospital with their new GS 1300. We reached out to the couple to see if they could shine more light on this recent drama.


“He thinks I cheated on him with the Suzuki V-Strom next door and that’s ridiculous,” said Mrs. GS. “Look at our little one, a nice Starbucks green – a color that honors his proud GS lineage.”


“Yeah, that’s bullshit… when you mix V-strom yellow with BMW blue, what color do you get?... exactly,” said Mr. GS.


Mrs. GS went on to point out that the newest family member managed to lose 13kg – a clear example of BMW innovation that haters seem to be ignoring.


“13kg is the exact weight of every GS’s soul,” said Mr. GS. “This little fella literally has no soul.”


Mr. GS went on to explain that every GS is born with a 13kg soul that just so happens to be the same weight as an empty beer keg. It’s up to every GS to fill that keg with as many memories as possible before it dies to live forever in the great Oktoberfest in the sky – something Mr. GS fears his little one will never be able to do.


We also reached out to the Suzuki V-Strom next door to get his side of the story.


“All I know is they need to change the ‘GS’ name: Gelände/Straße (offroad/street) to ‘GSB’: Gelände/Straße/Bett (bed), because it’s certainly adventurous there too.”

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