Former world champion, Fabio Quartararo, has announced that he will be staying with Yamaha because of the bond he has built with the brand and the love he feels for each and every member of the team…
…Oh, and also because Yamaha offered him a contract worth 12 million Euros — making him the highest-paid rider in MotoGP and one step closer to being able to finally afford a jacket zipper that works.
“I can handle the bike not being able to keep up, but I’m really hoping 12 million Euros will at least help me get a zipper that can keep itself up,” Fabio said. “It’s a matter of safety as it’s the only thing protecting me from road rash and groupies wanting to smash.”
Yamaha hopes that maybe it can save money by repurposing the zipper Fabio uses on his mouth during press conferences to avoid blurting out obvious issues with the bike.
“That zipper has managed to keep Fabio’s mouth securely closed, despite several seasons of extreme tension being placed upon it,” said a spokesperson for Yamaha. “If it can withstand the circus that is Yamaha right now, surely it can handle MotoGP circuits.”