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Police Officer Dedicates Life To Figuring Out Why Motorcyclists Hit Themselves On The Head

Local police officer, Glenn Robinson with the Phoenix Police Department, has announced that he will not rest until he’s uncovered the reason why every motorcyclist he sees is constantly smacking their helmet.

“Like all traffic cops, I took on this duty for one reason and one reason only, to make a difference in the community,” Glenn said. “It certainly has nothing to do with the fact that I was bullied as a child and a badge grants me just enough power to ruin someone’s day.”

After 30 years on the force, Glenn has determined that it’s not a coincidence that every single motorcyclist will remove one hand from the handlebar and then use it to pat the top of their helmet.

“It’s as if they’re stuck in a perpetual game of ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It,’ and they’re always happy,” Glenn said. “This tells me two things: that they’re having a great time, and they’re not being as safe as they could be. I’m very concerned about the safety part. Also, the happiness part.”

Officer Glenn wanted it to be crystal clear that he and the rest of the police force were fully committed to doing whatever it takes to resolve this. They even have a theory:

“There’s clearly a reason as to why motorcyclists choose to ride like this. So, if we can get that pesky reason to leave motorcyclists alone; they’ll be free to ride in peace.”

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