Pinocchio’s Visor Stuck Open After Saying His 600 Will Do 180 mph


Almost-real-boy and fully-real-squid Pinocchio is currently in trouble as his elongated nose is preventing his helmet’s visor from closing properly.


“I don’t know what happened,” said Pinocchio. “One moment everything was working fine. The next moment, my nose was forcing my visor open. That’s extremely dangerous considering I ride at speeds well over 150 mph.” The incident occurred immediately after Pinocchio told his riding buddies that he got his Yamaha R6 up to 160 mph once. “Well, it’s true,” Pinocchio said. “I looked down and my dash clearly showed 170 mph. Some people blame gearing, but that’s just an obvious lie.”


Despite his nose growing by the second, Pinocchio claims to have proof that he has been telling the truth this entire time.


“My onboard GPS verified that I achieved a top speed of 180 mph,” Pinocchio said. “See, look.” Upon further investigation, our fact-checkers could clearly see that the GPS reading was 100 mph and someone had just taken a marker and put a horizontal line through the middle of the first ‘0.’


“How did that get there? Anyways, forums say it’ll hit 190 mph with an extended swing arm and race fuel. Seems a bit excessive, but my dad always told me to ‘let your ego be your guide…’ Or something like that. My hearing isn’t the best due to all the wind noise that comes with riding around at 200 mph.”


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