top of page

Man Identifies Oncoming Motorcycle Just By Headlight; Shocked No One Else Is Impressed

A local moto-enthusiast, Eddie Morra, is still stunned after nobody around him seems to care that he totally recognized the brand/model of an oncoming motorcycle by the shape of its headlights alone.

“We were just walking down the street when a bike appeared on the horizon,” said Eddie. “Although it was far off, I could still make out two, angry parallelograms pointing my way – one lit and one not. In that moment, I could feel my mind start to clinically sort through every front end I had ever seen in my 43 years of life until it settled, clear as day, on the truth: it was a 2006 Yamaha R6 with the high beam turned off.”

Without hesitation, Eddie shouted ‘Here comes an R6!’ and waited eagerly for the bike to pass and for the surrounding people to realize that they’d been in the presence of a mind operating at a level far beyond mere mortals.

“The bike finally passed and I waited for the lovely sound of the 600cc inline-four to be replaced with an even more thunderous applause, but I turned around and everyone was just looking at their phone,” said Eddie. “I might as well of said, ‘oh look, here comes a crotch rocket’ like some pathetic manchild.”

Demoralized by the whole endeavor, Eddie has allowed his mind to rot, joining millions of others who know nothing about motorcycles… but at least now he now gets attention.

“It turns out knowing nothing about bikes gets you tons of likes on Instagram Reels. All you have to do is visit parking garages at night, wear matching motorcycle gear, and then turn your head slowly and dramatically towards the camera while cheesy movie-trailer music plays.”

bottom of page