Thousands of motorcyclists – with skills ranging from average to downright hideous – have come together to sign a petition that would ban “unattainable brapping standards” from the internet.
“It’s unfair to expect people like us to ride like the professionals you see all over the internet,” said Andy Schumer, creator of the Petition for Unattainable Brapping Standards (P.U.B.S.) “Therefore, it’s only right to stop those who have dedicated their lives to reaching near perfection from making us feel bad for putting as little work in as possible. That’s why – while these ‘athletes’ are out practicing their craft – we normal folk will be gathering around P.U.B.S. to bitch and complain until we feel better about ourselves.”
With the help of P.U.B.S., average Joes from around the world have seen an uptick in false confidence in their riding abilities.
“I mean, I COULD ride like that if I had a sponsor and no day job,” said a regular at P.U.B.S meetups. “I mean I have a family and stuff too, so like, how… burp… you know… I can’t just go out all willy nilly and abandon them for some neat little wheelie tricks hiccup. I just think it’s best for, like society and stuff, to just put an end to people looking that cool on social media… is all I’m sayin’ burp.”
With thousands of signatures already – primarily from YouTube commenters – it appears P.U.B.S will go a long way towards bringing the world closer together in mediocrity.
“I think it’s about time we all start adopting a little brapping positivity by shunning talented riders and giving their well-earned attention to people who sit in their garage all day doing cute little moto-skits with their helmets on… for some reason.”