“Winter is coming.” These are the scared and worried words of one local motorcyclist who isn’t sure what he dreads more: The idea of winterizing his beloved bike for a few months or being forced to listen to people online explain (repeatedly) that they’re ‘real riders’ for riding 365 days a year – uphill both ways. “I just don’t find it particularly safe to ride a motorcycle when the pavement is cold, my tires are cold, my visor is fogging up, and I can’t feel a single part of my body that’s responsible for operating the bike’s primary controls,” said Ned Spark, motorcyclist living in the north. “I understand some riders make it work, but I’m not about to behead myself trying to commute to work.” According to some riders, Ned’s concerns are nothing more than hollow excuses. “Oh, please. Just layer up, turn on your Goldwing’s heated grips, seat, and vents, and move to a warmer climate,” said Jamie Canister, self-proclaimed ‘King of Layers.’ “Besides, winterizing your bike is like kissing your sister – everyone else will think it’s gross... no matter how nice it feels to keep your most-loved possession safe and close to home.”
Ned intends to spend the next few months droning out the haters by doing what all riders who winterize their motorcycles do: watch YouTube videos of other people riding the same make/model bike.
“It’s the best I can do until it’s safe to ride again and all the people complaining about others choosing not to ride in snow and ice go back to complaining about the extreme dangers of ‘grass clibbins.’”