A local man has stalled out on his journey towards life on two wheels after realizing YouTube contains a mere 229,000 videos covering what the best beginner bike is for new riders.
“I really want to get into motorcycling, but there’s simply not enough opinions circulating online to help me decide which bike is best for me to start on,” said William (Will) Hammond. “It’s hard to pick a bike that’s best for me and my unique circumstances when I’ve only got a quarter-of-a-million videos to watch.”
To make matters worse, the 229,000 videos available only recommended motorcycles ranging from a Honda Navi to a track-only, 310hp Ninja H2R – limiting Will’s options to just a few hundred different models.
However, Will was able to identify one common message that every video shared (other than SEO manipulation).
“After browsing all 229,000 vidoes, I was able to come up with one rule of thumb that every person agreed on,” said Will. “It goes like this *deep breath* ‘You’ll just outgrow a small CC bike, so instead of wasting your money on that, waste your money crashing high CC bikes because the only way to learn to ride is on a 50cc or below unless of course you’re mentally mature enough to handle high horsepower machines and won’t be tempted to use 4 of the 6 gears, but then you might as well buy a moped as your first bike since you’re scared to shift but all of this is moot because you should ALWAYS start on dirtbikes since Moto GP riders all ride dirtbikes, then just remember your country’s laws or lack thereof and buy a track bike since track riding is the only way to learn street riding before just getting whatever you want so long as it matches whatever strangers on the internet says is right for you.’ Simple as that. Thanks Internet!”
In other news, fewer people are getting into motorcycles than ever before. Lack of “Best Beginner Bike” videos clearly to blame.