BREAKING: Harley Riders Refuse To Pull Over For Faster, More Capable Nissan Cube
BREAKING: Harley Riders Refuse To Pull Over For Faster, More Capable Nissan Cube
DEALS GAP, NC – A pair of Harley-Davidsons have been spotted aggressively defending their positions at the front of a 7-car, 9-bike, 3-cyclist, and 1-limping-hitchhiker traffic jam along Highway 129 late Monday afternoon – even managing to keep a stock 2009 Nissan Cube with far better pace trapped in 14-mph agony.
Witnesses say bagger enthusiasts Dale Fletcher, 56, and Gary Simmons, 58, managed to hold up the line through all 318 curves of the Tail of the Dragon, while simultaneously ignoring all 43 paved scenic pull-offs along the way.
“It weren’t easy,” said Dale. “It took an aggressively staggered formation, crossing the double-yellow line by three full feet, a blistering pace of 18-20mph below the posted speed limit, and a complete disregard of all human decency to keep everyone behind us. Besides, pull offs are what we do in the privacy of our own clubhouse, not on public roadways.”
Witnesses near the front of the 20-vehicle procession reported that the Nissan Cube driver clearly had more talent and performance on tap than both riders combined, despite drinking a full cup of hot coffee, making two hands-free business calls, and filing her quarterly taxes while waiting for the Harleys to do the right thing.
“I was just trying to get home from the garden center with a hanging fern,” said Brenda Watson, cube driver. “I thought about going for a pass, but the grown men in matching leather outfits would pin the throttle at every straightaway. Sure, they didn’t actually accelerate, but the added vibrations caused them to climax in a way that I didn’t want my children in the back to see up close.”
“I was just trying to get home from the garden center with a hanging fern. I thought about going for a pass, but the grown men in matching leather outfits would pin the throttle at every straightaway. Sure, they didn’t actually accelerate, but the added vibrations caused them to climax in a way that I didn’t want my children in the back to see up close.”
