For the first time in recent history, Harley Davidson is thinking outside the box with the launch of their new company motto: “You can have it fast, cheap, or good: Pick 0.”
“Do you get it?! It’s a play off of the classic saying, ‘You can have it fast, cheap, or good: Pick 2,’” said Lauren Novak, head of Marketing at Harley Davidson. “We just decided, why force people to make choices? Instead, let’s just give them the same air-cooled, 45-degree, V-twin… I mean let’s just remove the burden of choice altogether.”
Harley motorcycles have long been known for their remarkable ability to do nothing well at prices high enough to make Ducati blush. Harley hopes this change will unite the company under the same corporate values.
“It hasn’t been easy to create motorcycles that defy all reason,” said Lauren. “We’ve had to find ways to make simply-built machines unreliable, massive engines lose horsepower as quickly as they lose oil, and convince people to spend tomorrow’s dollar on yesterday’s equipment.”
To celebrate this change, Harley has announced that they will update their best-selling product: Men’s XXL Logo T-Shirt.
“The logo will be 3% bigger than the past model,” said Lauren. “To accommodate all the R&D that went into this update, we will be forced to charge 200% more per product.”