Triumph Daytona Paralyzed With Fear As Yammie Noob Spots It From Across Dealership

Updated: Nov 18, 2021


SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS -- A local Triumph dealership was the venue for a tense scene yesterday as Yammie Noob, a YouTuber and Mass-Murderer of Daytonas, made eye contact with a new Daytona 765.


“Of course I was scared,” said the Daytona #143 of 765. “He’s the Ted Bundy of bikes. I practically shat out my catalytic converter when I saw him.”


Despite having owned (and crashed) several Daytonas in the past, Yammie admitted to never being able to fully satisfy his desire to maim and destroy them.


“I wanted to stop, I really did,” Yammie Noob said. “I even tried to move on to other bikes. But there’s something about turning the beautiful lines of a Daytona into a pathetic heap of crumbled metal that’s just… ecstasy.”


Right when all seemed lost for #143, a dealership employee stepped in to distract Yammie just long enough for the Daytona to hide behind the absolutely massive Triumph Rocket III.


“I guess I’ll just have to hunt down another one,” Yammie said. “You can’t beat them. They really are the closest bike you can get to a Porsche.”


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