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‘This Is Some X-Men Sh*t;’ Motorcyclist Able To Summon Rain Just By Planning A Motorcycle Ride

Step aside, Storm, there’s a new mutant on the block and his name is Murphy Lawrence – a local motorcyclist who can summon crappy weather just by planning a motorcycle ride.

“I started to realize something was up when my schedule got busy and I had to start proactively planning time to ride my motorcycle,” Murphy said. “All I had to do was circle a time on my calendar and, just like that, mother nature’s mood would change faster than menopause.” After the first few random rain storms, Murphy suspected it wasn’t just a coincidence. “I started to open up my weather app and my text message simultaneously,” Murphy said. “As soon as I clicked ‘send’ to the group text my riding friends are in, the weather app would flicker and call for sleet or hail – despite it being a summer in Pheonix, Arizona. This is some X-men Sh*t”

Xavier Institute for Higher Learning looks to enroll Murphy with a full scholarship – joining a host of other scholarship students with a passion for motorcycling. “It’s a pretty stacked class this year,” said Professor X. “We have a host of motorcyclists with powers that blow even my mind.” Along with Murphy are students with various abilities, including:

  • The ability to get faster and faster the more time he says ‘I’m taking it easy today,’;

  • Can identify ideal chain tension by jiggling it with two fingers;

  • Can save any life by blowing out their eardrums with a straight-piped exhaust;

  • And, most impressive of all, the ability to strap on a D-ring helmet with motorcycle gloves on.

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