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Survey finds 10 out of 10 nails prefer to puncture brand new tires

Updated: Nov 19, 2021

Researchers recently surveyed a bunch of nails, screws, and staples to find out what motorcycle tires they prefer to puncture. Some of the results were quite lopsided.

For example, 10 out of 10 of survey respondents either “Heavily Preferred” or “Mostly Preferred” to puncture tires with less than 100 miles on them -- citing “fresh rubber smell” and “more cushion for the pushin’” as their reasons.

A hefty 80 percent of respondents said that puncturing a tire on its maiden voyage from the dealership was the most rewarding. The other 20 percent said they get the most joy out of puncturing a tire when the motorcyclist is ‘in the middle of nowhere.’

When asked which tire brands they prefer, respondents were a little less particular -- claiming they didn’t really care which brand of tire they punctured, but they did prefer puncturing more expensive tires.

“We’ve learned quite a bit from this survey,” said Trevor Bell, lead researcher. “But the most obvious conclusion we’ve been able to pull from this is that nails are a**holes.”

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