Hell recently released plans for a major renovation designed to accommodate those who sit on other people’s motorcycles without permission. “It had to be done,” Satan said. “Some of the most entitled, inconsiderate, and narcissistic people that have ever existed were slipping through the cracks.”
The new circle, which has been given the name ‘encrotchment,’ will be placed between the ‘Fraud’ and ‘Treachery’ circles.
“This seemed like the obvious choice for location since the three circles share so much in common,” Satan said. “This may be hell, but we’re actually pretty considerate. Especially when you compare us to those in the encrotchment circle.”
The new circle will be equipped with many features to ensure appropriate suffrage for its residents.
“Every toilet seat in this circle will be warm and gross like it was recently used by a Harley rider who wore leather pants to Daytona Bike Week,” Satan said. “Also, everyone will be forced to wear a full-faced helmet that’s one size too small and was previously worn by someone with head lice who just finished the Erzberg Rodeo Enduro race.”
Spots are expected to fill up fast with teenagers trying to get social media content, people who think motorcycles weigh the same as bicycles and will immediately drop them as soon as they leave the kickstand, and girls named Jessica.