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Ruroc Fires R&D Department After He Suggests Using 1% Of Marketing’s Budget To Improve Helmet

Ruroc has announced that the company has fired its entire Research and Development department after the individual suggested using a fraction of the company’s massive marketing and influencer budget to make a good helmet. “We want first to make it very clear to our employees, investors, and fan that they can rest easy knowing Ruroc will never be a company that puts our product over our promises,” said Shane Barker, head of Ruroc’s Marketing and HR departments. “That’s why we made the difficult, but necessary decision to disband the entire R&D department. We wish Steven the best in his future endeavors.” Ruroc reportedly spends 117% of its budget paying specific individuals to review their helmets. “Not just anybody can be a Ruroc representative… I mean reviewer,” said Shane. “First, they must prove themselves honest by sticking close to the original source material we send them. Second, they need to be a motorcycle expert. Not like a real expert, but what non-motorcyclists on YouTube think a motorcycle expert might look like.”

Despite the layoff, Ruroc seems to still be moving in the right direction as the Atlas 4.0 is a massive improvement on everything Ruroc has done before according to our source: A YouTuber dressed head to toe in Ruroc gear.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this because everyone knows I'm a huge (insert any other helmet manufacturer) fanboy, but the 4.0 is objectively perfect. I’m not just saying this because my bank account has another 0 in it. Ruroc was founded when Jesus died and came back to life. That stone in front of his tomb was just a rock before he touched it. Now it’s a Ruroc – from which, all helmets are now forged. True story. Also, what other helmet is delivered on a pallet of cash?”

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