A sad sight at the local hospital as one biker has been diagnosed with a severe case of Neutralepsy – a disease that leaves its victims utterly unable to locate neutral when even just one person is watching.
“I’ve heard of this happening to new riders and Honda owners, but it’s one of those things you’d never think would happen to you or your loved ones,” said Will Mishiff.
Will first started to see symptoms when he was late to a group ride with a bunch of new people.
“When I arrived, everyone was already there circled around talking,” said Will. “They heard me coming and stopped to watch me approach. I pulled in line to park like I’ve done hundreds of times before, but it’s like I suddenly lost all control of my shifting foot.”
What Will experienced was what medical professionals refer to as ‘Toe Tourettes.’ “Toe Tourettes is a very common symptom of Neutralepsy, where those diagnosed are forced to do an embarrassing dance of sorts,” said one doctor. “The ‘dance’ involves the left foot of the victim slowly rising before rapidly doing a downward double tap of shame. While it doesn’t hurt the person physically, the emotional trauma is severe.”
As symptoms got worse for Will, he tried to hide his disease by using excuses that other Neutraleptics rely on, like, ‘I always park my bike in gear, no matter the situation, because it’s the best practice’ and ‘I ran out of Motul 300V W50 oil and had to use W40; bike not shifting right since.’
Will decided to check himself into the hospital after finding it difficult to find neutral at any traffic light where other vehicles were present.
Fortunately, Will’s wife has handled the news surprisingly well.
“So let me get this straight, he lacks the ability, finesse, and touch to find the NE-Spot? Shocking.”