A local man has barely escaped with his life after crossing a well-groomed gravel parking lot earlier today. The adventure rider, Chris Lurch, points to his high-end equipment as the reason he is still with us today.
“To think I almost went with the base model… the extra capabilities of the Rally model have given me a second chance at life, and you can’t put a price on that,” said Chris. “But if you could, it would be roughly an extra $10,000 + accessories over the base model. Thank you, KTM marketing team.”
The incident took place just on the fringe of city limits – meaning the smallest mistake could have left Chris stranded outside of the affordable UBER-ride range.
“I’m basically the Marco Polo of Enduro,” said Chris. “And much like Marco Polo, my journeys would’ve ended in tragedy if I didn’t cough up the additional funds for WP PRO suspension components, carbon fiber tank protection, and whatever a ‘quickshifter +’ is.”
Chris is now dedicating his life to mocking every other ADV rider who doesn’t own a 1 of 700, special edition motorcycle in hopes that it will shame people just enough to save their lives.”
“I’m forever in KTM’s debt both figuratively and literally,” said Chris. “I now feel obligated to do everything I can to save others from base bikes. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing people out there are doing what I’m doing at half the price.”