top of page

'Let's see Paul Allen's PSI' Motorcyclists Creepily Obsess Over Each Other’s Tire Pressure Setup

A group of motorcyclists have been causing unrest in the community as they’ve spent an uncomfortable amount of time gathered around their bikes obsessing over each other’s tire pressure setup. “They’ve been at it for hours,” said one community member. “Just a bunch of full-grown people standing around their bikes and kicking at the tires. Look like a bunch of psychos over there.” We got in touch with some of the motorcyclists to see if they had anything to say about putting so much pressure on the locals. “How do I feel about the pressure?” said Patrick Bateman, one of the riders. “Of course, thanks for asking. My day-to-day routine is 36 PSI in the front, 42 rear. It’s by the book. It’s clean and doesn’t dry the tire out too fast.”

Before we could follow up with Mr. Bateman, the conversation got away from us. “That’s nothing, check this out: 32 front, 34 rear,” chimed in another rider in the group.

“Impressive, very nice,” said Patrick. “Let’s see Paul Allen’s PSI.”

We were unable to verify what Paul Allen said, but we did manage to capture the reaction of Mr. Bateman as he looked over the tires.

“Oh my god, it even has even wear marks,” said Mr. Bateman.

Story Update:

Later reports claim that Mr. Bateman went crazy, going on several rants about how “there is an idea of a perfect PSI, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real answer.”

We visited him at the psychiatric hospital to see if he had any words on the matter.

“If you think I’m crazy, you should hear the hard enduro riders talk about tire pressure.”

bottom of page