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‘It’s Faster To Take The Bike,’ Says Man Destined To Spend Half Day Getting Bike Ready To Take

Breaking news today as local motorcyclist, Terry Dawdle, has informed his wife that it would be much quicker for him to take the motorcycle to run a quick errand than the family sedan. “My wife always hates when I take the motorcycle because she says it takes me much longer to get anywhere on a bike,” said Terry Dawdle, the ATGATT (all the gear all the time) optimist. “Can you believe she thinks a Nissan Altima is faster than my BMW S1000XR?! I love her but there’s no way any sane person can compare the power-to-weight ratios of the two vehicles. I’ll show her!”

We will be sticking to this story and providing regular, live updates on Terry’s ‘quick ride into town.’ 12:15 p.m: Terry was tasked by his wife to run a quick errand at a store located approximately 10 minutes away. Terry kisses his wife and tells her he’ll be back shortly.

12:16 p.m: Terry checks his weather app to see ‘what the weather is like out there.’

12:17 p.m: Looking at the weather app reminds Terry that it’s been raining for weeks and he hasn’t ridden much, so he needs to check the tire pressure of his motorcycle. 12:22 p.m: Terry notices his bike is a bit dirty and realizes it will be parked up front at the store for all to see. Terry gives bike a quick wipe down.

12:30 p.m: Terry tries to decide if everything he needs to get will fit inside a backpack or if he needs to reinstall his saddle bags. To be safe and make sure he doesn’t waste time with two trips, Terry reinstalls his saddle bags. 12:37 p.m: Terry checks weather app again to make sure nothing has changed.

12:38 p.m: Terry obeys the ATGATT creed by putting on boots, pants, jacket, gloves, and helmet. In that order.

12:42 p.m: Terry makes critical mistake by putting on gloves before fastening helmet D-ring. Must remove gloves and then put them on AFTER helmet is securely fastened. 12:43 p.m: Terry rolls motorcycle out of garage and cranks it up so it can warm up properly before he tears up some neighborhood roads.

12:45 p.m: Terry realizes it would be nice to listen to music, so turns on his helmet’s Bluetooth device. Gloves’ touch-screen compatibility a marketing scam so has to remove gloves to pick playlist on phone. Puts gloves back on. 12:47 p.m: Bike is at the optimal operating temperature that Terry made up in his head. Terry hops on and then begins to play with BMW’s countless settings until satisfied his ride into town will be the ultimate blend of sport and comfort.

12:50 p.m: In order to justify having an expensive GPS unit onboard, Terry enters the address of a place he’s been to 1,000 times. 12:52 p.m: Terry ignores the GPS route and takes backroads since ‘they’re more fun.’

1:57 p.m: Terry arrives at his destination located 10 minutes from his house. Proceeds to talk to stranger about how fast he’s been on his bike for next 15 minutes. Glad he wiped down bike earlier.

2:12 p.m: Terry forgets what he came for. Calls wife. Phone still connected to Bluetooth helmet back on bike. Struggles to figure that out.

2:20 p.m: Contact was lost with Terry as he was returning home and saw a group of bikes go past. He pulled an abrupt U-turn and neither we, nor his wife has seen him since.

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