A long-time Harley Davidson owner is in quite the conundrum after a motorcyclist on Harley Davidson’s new adventure bike – the Pan America – gave him a biker wave.
“I’ll be honest, I got no idea what the protocol is here,” said Gene Foreman, the Harley cruiser owner. “This here situation ain’t in my Harley handbook: ‘The Harley Break Down… And Other Joys of Harley Ownership.’” According to the handbook, there’s a very simple solution as to whether a Harley Davidson should return a wave to a motorcyclist. Chapter 3 of the handbook reads: “If the fella doing the biker wave is on a HOG, remove the two fingers from your butt and wave back. If it’s literally anyone else, keep your fingers firmly in your own buttocks. When in doubt, remember that it’s ok to remove fingers from ass to wave at another ass, or Ass to Ass Gets a Pass.”
While technically a Pan America is a Harley Davidson, many die-hard Harley fans think it’s nothing more than a German spy.
“Just look at the reviews of the Pan America,” Gene said. “You’ll see a bunch of German words sprinkled about. Words like: ‘Innovative’, ‘technology’, ‘performance’, and ‘late to the party’... actually that last one sounds like Harley.”
After an intense and lengthy internal battle, Gene finally decided to wave back. “I’m starting to think it’s a bit silly to judge another motorcyclist on what they’ve chosen to ride,” Gene said. “At the end of the day, we’re all taking risks just to feel something real in a world that idolizes fiction. We’re brothers and sisters connected by the fact that we’ve seen a life beyond the screens that breed anxiety and envy. A true family that… is that a scooter?”
“Yeah, what a loser,” said a sportbike rider passing by.
“Totally,” said Gene.