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Ducati Hosts Bike Launch In Heaven To Give Moto-Journalists A Genuine, Everyday Riding Experience

Ducati has closed off a section of gold-paved twisties in heaven to allow motorcycle journalists to form a fair, unbiased opinion on what it would be like to own the bike in ordinary day-to-day situations.

“We work hard on our motorcycles and even harder on finding locations so amazing that it’ll mask the smell of any turd on wheels,” said Harrison Bailey, events coordinator for Ducati. “Heaven seemed like an appropriate choice to really show off what our bike would be like to own if you lived in a literal perfect place that prohibits any feelings that aren’t overwhelming satisfaction and joy.” Ducati also arranged for the loved ones of journalists who had previously passed away to be in attendance. “There’s nothing we want more than for moto-journalists to be able to focus on the motorcycles so that they can really pick it apart and let us, and their audience, know what we can do better,” said Harrison. “That’s why we had the people they loved and lost come to see them before we set off on our ride. We figured it would help them feel more at home so that they’re better able to think about things like gearing and suspension preload.”

We reached out to one journalist to see what they had to say about the new Ducati Diavel V4. “Heavenly is the only word coming to mind. It flies around a turn as gracefully as the angels who served us Mutton and wine from Jesus’ first miracle. I will forever cherish the moment I got to see Gram Gram again, her cheeks almost as rosey as the Ducati’s tank – which just so happens to be 20 liters… the same age I was when my beloved Gram Gram passed.”

This magical event almost didn’t take place, however, after God learned that it would be the Diavel (Italian for Devil) was the bike being promoted.

“We thought it would be kind of funny, but the big man didn’t think so,” said Harrison. “He said we could still do it, though, so long as we repented for the Ducati 999. So here we are.”

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1 Comment

Martin Tremblay
Martin Tremblay
Mar 02, 2023

Smart move, bet Ducati took the opportunity to bring back all those gearboxes.

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