A Ducati motorcycle has developed feelings of homesickness after going almost a month without something breaking bad enough to warrant a trip to a licensed Ducati Service Center. “I’m trying to live in the moment and be happy with where I’m at, but I find myself daydreaming about returning to the place where I’ve spent most of my life,” said the one-year-old Ducati with just 2,841 miles on it. “You know what they say, ‘home is where the part is,’ and we all know nobody outside of a dealership is getting their hands on Ducati parts.”
The Ducati’s owner reportedly tried to cheer him up by performing a few basic and routine maintenance tasks on the disheartened motorcycle but without success. “It was a kind thought, but it’s just not quite the same,” said the Ducati. “The tools required to pick me up are obnoxiously specific to me. Plus, if you’re not spending at least three months' salary on it, it’s not exactly a loving engagement.” We decided to reach out to the Ducati dealership to see if the feelings were mutual. “Of course!,” said Geppetto, the head of the local service center. “Here at Ducati, we don’t think of our motorcycles as products… we think of them as subscription-based products. Why pay once and be off on your own, when you can pay monthly for services so that we can spend time together like a big family?”
Fortunately, the Ducati’s feelings have started to improve after speaking with the one person who knows exactly what he is going through: KTM.
“There aren’t many out there who understand this feeling quite like my orange friend,” said the Ducati. “He’s pretty well known for always being Ready to R… *cough* excuse me… Require Maintenance.”