BREAKING NEWS: Most Expensive Motorcycle Wins Shootout


The motorcycling community was stunned early this morning when a bike $10,000 more expensive than its competition, was crowned the best bike in its category.

“It was unreal,” said Brett Matthews, one of the journalists who participated in the shootout. “The priciest bike had superior brakes, suspension, tech, and tires. If I had to guess, it would cost roughly $10,000 to get the other machines up to its level.”


Believe it or not, this wasn’t the first time that the motorcycle that cost the most was found to be made up of nicer, more expensive parts.


“We’ve seen something like this before,” Brett said. “If I remember correctly, I believe 96% of all shootouts we’ve ever done has had the same, in-no-way-predictable outcome: the most expensive bike wins. With the other 4% being any Harley Davidson.”


What’s even crazier is that this utterly unforeseeable result may have been foreseeable after all. Our very own TPO researchers discovered an ancient Egyptian text. Upon it was etched the words, ‘You get what you pay for, dumb*ss.’

1 comment