Tense moments this afternoon at Cadwell Park as 44teeth’s Alastair Fagan is once again about to sh*t himself due to poor lunchtime decisions. “It was a bloody buffet, mate… What’d you expect!?,” Alastair said. This marks the 44th time in a row that Alastair has ridden a once-in-a-lifetime superbike around a beautiful track, yet spent the entire time contemplating the trustworthiness of his own farts.
“No idea what was in that yellow sh*t they gave us, but I had a second helping,” Alastair said. “Whoever thought it was a good idea to serve that sh*t and then have us do literal jumps at Cadwell Park can sod off.”
Despite his crippling stomach cramps, Alastair was still setting impressive lap times while providing valuable information regarding the specifications and characteristics of the bike he was riding. “It’s a *burp* jizz machine,” Alastair said in his review. “Oh my giddy aunt this baby is naugh… oh for f*ck sake move out of the way!”
Fortunately, Alastair narrowly avoided adding brown to his colorful leathers when 44teeth colleague, Chris Eadon, brought him the one thing that Alastair’s digestive system has become accustomed to… McDonald’s.