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BREAKING: Man With Newly-Wed Profile Pic Lists Motorcycles On Facebook Marketplace

In a shock to single people everywhere, a local groom has listed his beloved motorcycle on the Facebook Marketplace. “You know, I’ve been thinking about getting into other hobbies for a while now,” said Chuck Henpeck, newly-wed and newly-ex-motorcyclist. “I’ll have to double-check with the Mrs., but pretty sure our new hobby is brunch. Who needs two wheels when you’ve got mimosa deals, right?! Exciting times…”

According to lead researchers, Chuck’s used bike listing is just one of thousands of profiles with wedding-photo profile pictures to post their motorcycle. “If you’re smart enough to know not to put a ‘panty dropper’ sticker on your bike, you’re smart enough to know that ‘correlation does not imply causation,’” said one researcher. “However, in this case, we think it’s safe to say ‘Love is patient, love is kind. Love will leave your bike behind.’’

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