top of page

ATGATT Rider Mildly Inconvenienced By Zombie Apocalypse

Updated: Nov 19, 2021

Months after the world fell to a zombie apocalypse, one All The Gear All The Time (ATGATT) rider has started to become slightly irritated by the whole situation.

“I was pretty happy it all went down,” said Ben Vernon, ATGATT motorcyclist. “People used to make fun of me for wearing five layers of gear in the middle of the summer to go get groceries. Everyone stopped laughing when the zombies started biting.” Ben never leaves home without 20-25 pounds of protective leather and armor covering his head, torso, hands, and feet.

“At any given point during the day I’m probably wearing half a cow, most of a Kangaroo, and an entire goat’s worth of leather,” Ben said. “You just never know when a distracted driver will pop out and bite you… or a zombie.” Ben reckons his gear is more than enough to handle several thousand zombie bites -- making the walking dead a very small concern in his day-to-day life.

“My ATGATT buddies and I still meet once a week for a ride,” Ben said. “Other than gas being a little harder to find and roadways looking more and more like Detroit, not too much has changed. Even the Squids are mostly the same as they walk around brain dead in torn clothes. They just happen to be zombies now.”

Ben did mention there were a few things that he missed from the pre-zombie days.

“With less traffic on the road, all of my ultra-hi-viz gear seems a bit like overkill now.”

bottom of page